


tear-stained cigarettes

by Smellslikezombies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst Smut, Cigarettes, F/M, Heavy Angst, Possessive Behavior, Smut, Tears, Toxic Relationships, im sorry, like a shit ton of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26297056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smellslikezombies/pseuds/Smellslikezombies
Summary: you're tired of the tears shed for himbut his smoke is just so intoxicating
Relationships: Ukai Keishin/Reader
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	tear-stained cigarettes

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! this is based on [sanriocore's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanriocore/pseuds/sanriocore) tiktok hc of ukai putting out a cig on the wall to scare you. her stuff is amazing, please check it out!!! she's also @pegdabi on tiktok

You were crying and he was watching.

Correction: you were crying and he was doing _nothing_. Just kneeling in front of you, not even committed to fully sitting with you on the floor, a cigarette held loosely between his lips. The smell was awful, but coming from his mouth, it never failed to intoxicate you. Tears were still streaming down your cheeks, but the trails had slowed when he focused on you; he was the reason you were crying, so getting his attention is what finally calmed you down. 

Unfortunately, the attention seemed to be short-lived as he focused more on his cigarette than you. Another sob racked through your body, making you shake, but he cut it off with a single finger crooked under your chin. The first contact was smooth and gentle, but it quickly took a sharp turn into rough as he jutted his finger up, forcing you to look up at him. He stared down his nose at you, part of your face obscured by the thin line of the cig. A cruel smile tugged at the left corner of his mouth as he reached a thumb up to wipe through a path of tears. 

“You’re pretty when you cry.” Two fingers of his unused hand reached up to the cigarette between his teeth, dangerously low but still barely long enough for a few more drags. You couldn’t hold in a shaky scoff that made him raise an eyebrow in disapproval. 

“Is that all you have to say?” Your heart raced at the irritated yet apathetic glare he gave you, but at this point, you couldn’t turn back from letting every feeling out. “I try _so fucking hard_ for this relationship because I love you, and what do I get? I get an asshole for a boyfriend who apparently _likes_ to make me cry! That explains why you’re gone random hours and never even seem fully here when you’re next to me. Jesus, Keishin, I don’t even know why I try anymore!” Your fists beat weakly against the floor, but it didn’t faze him as he just continued to stare disinterestedly at the sad girl in front of him. 

You stayed silent after that, impatiently waiting for a response that never seemed to come. Instead, he let the hand on your chin drift lower until long, calloused fingers wrapped around your neck, applying just enough pressure to make your pulse pick up. His eyes never left yours as he took a final drag from the cig and plucked it from his mouth, keeping his lips closed and the smoke contained. You flinched when he put the lit butt against the wall, the flame put out just close enough to your ear to burn the cartilage. Instinctively, your eyes closed, the only feeling being his hand on your throat and the gentle falling of ashes onto your shoulder. He wanted to remind you how easily he could hurt you, and despite all he had put you through, the thought still had you clenching your thighs together on the floor. The action didn’t escape him, and he leaned in close to your face to blow out the smoke he was keeping in his mouth. It burned your eyes and had you suffocating, but getting your breath back was even harder with his tightening grip on your throat. 

“Are you done?” was his gruff reply, a rhetorical question judging by how he was oh so slowly cutting off your windpipe. He leaned forward without waiting for any kind of response from you, capturing your lips in an uncharacteristically soft kiss. You briefly wondered if maybe he was coming around to see your point, but the kiss turned harsh when he pressed you harder into the wall, knees settling on the ground just to straddle you and pin you down. “Finally...I thought you’d never stop talking.” You opened your mouth to say something, but were unable to muster enough breath to push any words out, your argument dying before it ever really began. “Ah...it’s cute when you can’t say shit. So much prettier with your mouth shut.” A brief roll of his hips clued you in on his inner thoughts. “Although you angry is very hot, too.” 

His hot breath on your ear made all resentment melt away, at least for the brief period consisting of Keishin’s dominant attitude over your barely weaker form. He loosened his grip just enough to let you talk, proving that he was entirely in control of everything that was about to happen. You took a deep breath, foreign in your lungs after being denied it for so long. 

“Keishin…”

“How badly do you still want me? Even when I ignore you and treat you like shit?” A thumb under your jaw knocked your head up to look into his eyes. “How badly do you still want my cock filling you up with my cum? Claiming you?” A soft laugh blew hot air across your neck. “You still belong to me. Want me to prove it?” He suddenly had another cigarette in his hand that he put between his teeth to hold there as he fished a lighter out of his pocket. “Gimme a light?” 

Despite your hatred of his dangerous habit, your hands moved quicker than your mind to wrap around the small piece of metal, thumb flicking it in a practiced motion that had a flame quickly conjured. He tilted his head, allowing you to stay steady to light it for him successfully, flipping the lighter closed when it was no longer needed. The thought of how he treated you like one would treat a lighter did pop up in your mind, but then he was sending you a look that said “I see you as nothing more than a toy” and you could feel your panties dampening. 

“Thank you,” he breathed, smoke falling over your face in waves and making tears spring to your eyes once again. 

“Keishin, I--” 

“Shh.” He took another drag, eyes closing from the nicotine. He held his cigarette up and placed the lit end a few centimeters from your neck, clearing a spot of skin just between his spread fingers. “May I?” You moved to nod before realizing that his hand held fast, keeping you from accidentally burning yourself. “I need those magic words, baby girl.” 

“Keishin, yes...please,” you relented, hissing when the butt connected with your skin. Searing hot pain blossomed from your throat, making your vision flash white and your hands curl into fists. You vaguely could hear him whispering calming affirmations in your ear as he pulled the cig away, eyeing the developing wound and the surrounding bruise. He wrapped his lips around it, running his tongue over the mark to soothe it. 

“There. You’re permanently mine, now.” He smiled to himself at the high placement. “And everyone will know.” He kissed you, possessive mouth claiming your own, the taste of ash and smoke coating your tongue. Even when he pulled away, the bitter flavor lingered between your teeth. Another tear rolled down your cheek, which he assumed was from the pain of the burn. “Hey, baby, it’s okay.” He swiped a finger across your skin, wetting it and then subsequently wiping it off on his shirt. 

The tender action woke something in you, jolting a sudden feeling of the suffocation in your surroundings. His hand wasn’t on your neck anymore, but you still felt like you couldn’t breathe, gasps rising in your throat. Looking for a way out, you found an outlet the only way you knew how. 

You kissed him. Hard. 

He swallowed a grunt of surprise, returning the kiss with a fervor that you wished he would put towards your actual feelings. Oh, well; if the only way you could get his attention was through sex, then that was what you were going to have to do. He tore your tank top off, not caring about the wince you gave when the fabric brushed across the spot on your neck that probably needed medical attention. Dr. Ukai came to save the day as his mouth drifted down your jaw and to the wound, licking and sucking lightly just to get a reaction, not caring if it was good or bad. 

When he was able to draw a gasp from your hoarse vocal chords, he deemed his mission a success, adding to the pleasure that swept the void in your heart under the rug by massaging your breasts with calloused fingertips. He was still straddling you, holding your body under his weight and rolling his hips against your lap, unable to find the selfish gratification he craved and greedily took in situations like this. No matter how good the grinding, fondling, or kissing was, you could never ignore the inherent feeling of being an accessory, a toy. You decided to make it a turn on rather than focusing on the overwhelming emptiness that plagued your mind when Keishin roughly grabbed you and talked down to you. Eventually, it began to work, his clothed cock all that was filling your mind when he climbed off you and tugged your hand, practically dragging you to the bedroom. 

“On your hands and knees.” You obeyed, unwilling to put up a fight. Despite his innate need for the gluttony of his own pleasure, he still somehow managed to make you feel _good_. You liked to tell yourself that this was the reason you stayed with him all these years. 

It was really your fear of being alone that kept pulling you back by the ankles, kicking and screaming yet still ready to fall back into Keishin’s arms the moment he asked for a light. 

He placed his hands on the back of your thighs, naturally inching up under your stretchy shorts to grip at your ass over your panties. Always rough, he unceremoniously tugged the two pieces of fabric down, helping you lift your knees in a seemingly sweet gesture that you knew was just an act. He only worried about what would make _him_ feel good, and he couldn’t feel good with lots of obstacles in the way of something to stick his dick in. 

Your back naturally arched down as you laid your face on the sheets, smelling the smoke-soaked blankets underneath you and internally recoiling as the scent hit you. Still...it was Keishin, and right now, that’s all you wanted. 

Keishin. 

“Keishin.” Your voice surprised you, meek and resigned as if you had already gone numb to the activities of the next hour. He ran a finger through your folds and toyed with your entrance, making you sigh in relief. You weren’t _completely_ numb. He responded with a hum, unwilling to stop his ministrations on your cunt after graduating to two full fingers pumping in and out of you. You guessed that a hum was all you were getting out of him. “Please fuck me.” 

You didn’t have to look back to know that he was grinning, smiling with too much teeth and too little emotion in his eyes besides _hunger_. _Desire. Devour._ You were a meal not meant to be savored; fast food from a shitty highway town full of people who knew that if you stayed too long, you’d be stuck. He quickly shed his clothes, lined himself up, and thrust into you within ten seconds, making you regret gasping at the intrusion since it sent you further into the pungent blankets. As soon as he pulled out and pushed back in, all complaints were wiped from your mind, replaced only by the full feeling heating up your abdomen. 

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he hissed, hand hovering a milimeter above the small of your back to hold you steady as he fucked into you. He didn’t like it when you tried to thrust back; he said it threw him off and made it harder for him to come.

So you just stayed there, allowing him to get off with your pussy, ignoring the actual person attached to it. 

“Oh, baby, I’m close…!” He picked up the pace, entirely disregarding asking you how it felt. Being used as a fleshlight did have perks if you were with the right person, but right now, a thousand thoughts clouded your mind and Keishin being the entirely _wrong_ person was at the forefront of the onslaught. Then, he was reaching around to play with your clit, rubbing circles and actually building up your pleasure with his. He seemed to finally care about your own satisfaction, but in reality, the clenching of your walls around him are what helped him come faster. 

Ulterior motives were always at the front of _his_ mind. 

Then, your thoughts were cleared by him slamming one final time into you, spilling inside you and sending you over the edge with his hand. For a split second, you felt nothing; no emptiness, no sadness, no overwhelming need to _get out._..but then it was gone, and the emotions you had planned to erase by doing this were back, full force and crashing in waves against the armored walls of your heart. 

_Shit_. 

He pulled out from you and walked to the bathroom, cleaned himself off, and then climbed back into bed without another word besides “that was good” when he was fully under the sheets. There was no warm washcloth, there was no sweet bath, there was no tender kiss goodnight. Holding in a scoff, you made your decision. 

After cleaning yourself up and coming back to a deeply sleeping Keishin, you packed your shit as quietly as you could, luckily able to take it all in one bag since he hated having too much of your things cluttering up his apartment. Casting one last look into the bedroom at his dozing form, you wrote a note on the To-Do List pad you got him that he never used and walked out the door, closing it behind you for the last time. 

_Thanks for the years, the cigs, and the sex. Don’t call me._

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it!!


End file.
